Desperate Reactions
by Wisdom Rose
Summary: The scene in Deathly Hallows, when Harry is killed and comes back to the Great Hall in Harry's arms could have been just a bit different had Remus and Sirius still been alive to witness it.


All fighting stopped when Hagrid stepped into the Great Hall that day. The boy who lived slumped over in his arms, in such a different position then he had been held seventeen years before. His head lulled to the side, nestled into Hagrid's arm, and his legs hung loosely near the half-giant's stomach. Silence seemed to take over for a few seconds around him as he entered, but it felt like years. Harry could never explain later how that moment felt to him. To know the people he loved, deeply loved, would see him dead like this. It was a lie…but it needed to happen.

Hagrid, himself, was sobbing uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking with the feeling of uncontrollable helplessness. This was the boy he had watched grow up the past six years. The boy he had met at such a young, vulnerable age, and watched over as he grew to be the self sacrificing man he was today. Harry kept very still as he was carried into the hall, and braced himself for what was to come.

The first person who spotted Harry was Remus, twenty feet away. His cry of horror ripped from his throat, creating a sound that was worse then the rest, because it wasn't expected. Though Harry had never heard it before, he knew it was the animalistic cry of a wolf loosing a member of it's pack.

Remus had moved forward, looking wildly around for Sirius, for the only man who would know this feeling of having your entire world come crashing down around you. Was this the same thirteen year old he had seen faint to the ground when he first met him on the train? Here he was, fallen at seventeen. Completely defenseless and…gone.

"NO!" He screamed out finally, his voice breaking the horrible silence that had only been but three seconds. "NO, HARRY, NO! P-Please…" He was still moving forward, tripping a bit as he went. His voice caught in his throat and he shook his head over and over, trying to find somewhere to point his wand now as the tears started. "No…"

Finally, Remus fell against the stone wall behind him, shaking his head still. His wand still clutched in his sweaty, shaking hand, he closed his eyes against the scene. How was it that at that moment, just at that moment, he realized how much he loved the body he saw lifeless in front of him. Time had gotten away from everyone, it seemed. So many things could have happened. So many things…And then he spotted Pettigrew, stalking towards Harry and Hagrid and Remus stood, still looking for Sirius. It was as if he was in a dream, mindlessly moving towards the back of the Great Hall, now on autopilot. "SIRIUS!"

To them and Harry, this was hours. The feeling of turning and seeing Harry lifeless, and all hope being lost. But in reality, barely thirty seconds had passed since the doors slammed open, and now Remus was moving swiftly towards his best friend in the chaos, trying to get his attention. Trying to show him that this was over, that their world had ended forever. "SIRIUS!"

Just as Harry was recovering from Remus's painful reaction, Sirius turned. He had been warding off death eaters, doing his best to distract himself from the fact that he hadn't seen Harry in hours. As he turned, he saw two things at once. One was Harry, the second was Pettigrew. He pushed the second one out of his mind, as his blue eyes focused on Harry and everything seemed to stop. Suddenly he couldn't see a thing, feel a thing, sense a thing, except his godson. Remus's grief, though very strong, couldn't compare to the indescribable feelings going through Sirius's mind and heart. There was his own hope for happiness, lying there. There was his promise of a family, lying there.

Suddenly, he knew there was nothing worse then this. The feeling of loosing someone you love. The feeling of loosing a child. Harry had always been his. His Harry. From the day he was born, to this very night, Sirius had loved him more then anything else in the world. He would have gladly given up his life a million times over and every ounce of humanity and possessions he had to make the boy smile. Just smile.

"No…" The whisper came strangled out of his mouth and hit the walls, echoing strangely into Harry's ears. This is what he feared, to hear Sirius react. He had hoped Sirius would have been in another room, another universe. Anywhere then in this room with him, seeing what he was seeing. "No…" was the second strangled moan from Sirius and wasn't heard until he started running.

The calls of negation became louder and louder as he came across the large hall. "No…NO… NO! NO! NO!" His screams were tearing through the room now as he stumbled like Remus, but now fell to the floor. Harry winced as he heard Sirius's head make contact with the stone beneath him as he pressed his forehead to it hard. Sobs filled Harry's ears from even that far away and it tore him deeply to hear it. "HARRY! Harry!…Harry.." His moans were as if someone was slowly tearing him apart, making him suffer that slow and painful death of loss.

It took all Harry had not to stand up then and give it up. To show his godfather that he was okay, but he couldn't do that. Not now, when he was so close to his goal. Just as he started to think of another plan, he heard a voice behind him. The voice he hated so very much.

"Excellent. Simply excellent, Wormtail…" Voldemort said slowly, looking around the room now. The screams were dieing down and a shock fell over the room as Voldemort was revealed behind Hagrid, an evil smile spread across what could be assumed to be his lips. "You all thought it would be a happily ever after, didn't you? That your precious little wonder boy would save the day again! How sad for you. Wormtail, take a step forward and congratulate yourself. It's because of you we got this far."

Peter proudly took a step forward, a giddy, creepy grin on his own face as he glanced at Harry's body. Taking another step, he lifted the cloak off the boys face, revealing it. A collective gasp filled the room, and Peter only had to speak one word. "Finally."

Sirius heard this and his heart stopped, his eyes slowly rising from the ground beneath him and up into Peter's own. Suddenly, flashes of Harry started going through his mind. Of him as a baby, taking his first steps. His cries filling Sirius's ears that Halloween night. The sound of his voice the first time he heard him two years before. The first time he saw him in a newspaper clipping. The moment he heard Harry forgive him. They were all rushing back to him and the rage covered his eyes like the boiling blood in his veins. It was his fault. Peter's fault. "PETER!"

He was up then to his feet in less then an second, and his wand was at the ready. It didn't take long for him to muster up all the anger and rage he felt for this man. For putting him in Azkaban for twelve, underserved years. For killing his friends, his family. The two he considered his brother and sister. For putting his godson in danger time after time. He couldn't kill Voldemort, that he knew, but he could kill someone. And he could make up for all those lost, incarcerated years.

"AVADA KEDVRA!" was the roar that flew from his mouth after that finale thought, his hand and heart strong with rage and finality as the green sparks shot from his wand and straight into Peter's chest. Remus and Sirius stood there, silently as their once friend, now enemy, fell to the floor in a crumble of bones.

In the rumble of this, Hagrid had moved out of the way and set down Harry. But now, as the half giant looked down at the table he had set the boy on, he yelled out. "HARRY! Where's Harry! HE'S GONE!" He was pointing to where he set him and was waving his hands wildly in the air. Suddenly, with this announcement, the Great Hall was in uproar again.

Remus was moving forward again now, his hand pressing to the table that Harry had been laid upon. He looked to Sirius in curiosity, confusion, and panic, but the man just stood there, staring down at Peter. "Padfoot, there's nothing we can do for Peter anymore, and you know that just as well as I do. You were right to kill him." These words coming out of Remus's mouth were enough to haunt anyone, but it was true.

Sirius turned his mind from the body on the ground, to the body that was missing. And much more important to him now. "Harry…" He breathed, a sudden hope rising up in his chest that choked the breath out of him and made his knees shake together. He was wildly looking around at the bodies that scattered on the floor. To his friends and enemies that had been killed and murdered; in defense or in cold blood.

It was all happening so fast now, curses were being thrown and people were still falling all around. It was winding down in a sickening way, because it meant that there weren't enough people to fight to make it a war any longer. Turning to Voldemort, Sirius locked eyes with him and wished that he could do something to him, something to avenge his lost life. Everything in his life. "What now?" He asked softly, bravely.

Looking at him in surprise, Voldemort moved closer to him, his eyes narrowing in a sort of confused, amused look. "Now I do what I should have done a very long time ago, of course. I kill you and your half-breed friend just as quickly as I killed your godson. Your weak, pathetic boy." Raising his wand then, he opened his mouth to speak the most forbidden spell.

"Tom, I wouldn't do that." said a voice behind them. As Harry slowly pulled off his invisibility cloak ten feet away, Voldemort seemed to almost apperate an inch from where the boy now was, far away from Sirius. Harry tried his hardest to hold his own and to not make eye contact with either Sirius, Remus, or any of his remaining friends. He knew that if he did, all hope for his resolve would be lost.

Turning to see where Voldmort had gone and where the voice had suddenly come from, Sirius couldn't believe his eyes. He suddenly wondered how he was still standing, how his heart was still beating, and how he could even control himself at all. "Oh…Oh, Merin, HARRY!" He moved forward then, his paternal instincts forcing him into a run to the last thing he had.

However, before he could get even close, two stronger than human arms rapped around his middle and held him back and close. "Let go, Remus!" He roared over the noise of the screaming and chaos. "LET ME GO! That's my kid, that's my kid, and I have to get to him!"

Shaking his head, Remus pulled Sirius back and kept his arms tightly around him." This was never our fight, Sirius, and it isn't yours now! It's Harry's, and he needs to do this on his own! Believe that, please. Let him go."

What happened next was all a blur later on. Harry proceeded to explain to Voldemort that he had destroyed all that was left of his enemy, including the part in Harry's own soul. It was over now and the only thing he had to do was kill just one more piece of a tortured, cowardly existence.

The room went silent as both spells were roared, and one opponent fell. It seemed an eternity before Sirius was let go and was able to run towards Harry and gather him into some sort of safety, any sort of security he could offer. Again, the rest was a blur as Harry hugged him back and everything started to unwind. Bodies were carried out, survivors were safely transferred away from the school, and time flew.

Only six hours later, when the sun came back up, did Sirius let go of the breath he was holding in. He sat up in the hospital wing, one of the only parts of the castle still up and secure. It would take months to repair all the damage done. That didn't matter, however. Not now, not when Harry lay in the bed next to his chair, recovering from the happenings of the night before. "Kiddo, are you awake?"

Nodding, Harry sat up a little, looking around in worry for a moment before spotting Remus asleep in a bed nearby and calming down. "How many?" He asked softly, not looking directly at Sirius yet.

"Fifty." Sirius whispered, referring to death toll from the war. It was over now, but the entire magical community was reeling from the losses. Fifteen from the group were in the Order, alone. It had been a long last few hours, let alone the last year. As his hand went up to his godson's shoulder, trying to get him to lay back down and rest, he swallowed down whatever else he was going to say about the war. He could see in Harry's eyes that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Luna are all okay. As well as Remus, and all of the Weasleys. Well, minus Mr. Weasley, Fred, and Ginny. They have, unfortunately passed away. Along with Tonks and Moody." His voice cracked over the names, and knew it would take a long time to pick up the pieces.

Harry's emotions were somewhere in between the extremes of guilt, relief, and grief as he listened to the names and knew there were so many more he didn't know of. All because of him. "All because of me." He whispered, closing his eyes. "This war, these past seventeen years, they've been because of me."

Sirius jumped to attention then, shaking his head as he lowered himself to sit on Harry's bed. "Harry, no. Don't you start with that now. Without you, it never would have ended the first time, and it wouldn't have ended this time. You are the savoir of the magical world, Kiddo, don't you see that? It doesn't matter how humble you are, or what way you put it, it's the truth. You've saved the world, again."

Sighing lowly, Harry shook his head. "Again. It's all luck, you know that as well as I. Every time, It's luck. But now it's over, and there's nothing left to do. I suppose I just…I feel so guilty that I survived it. I feel like I should have gone down with everyone else; that I don't deserve to live happily ever after when so many people can't. Do you know what I mean, Sirius?" He looked up at him finally then, locking eyes with him.

"Yes, Harry, I do." Sirius whispered, helping the kid move over before he lay down next to him, stretching out down the bed and putting his hands behind his head. "After your parents died, I had a hard time understanding why I was still here. Why they had to die, and I got to live. But I realize now that it was for this. So I could be here with you today, to help you through the end of the longest battle I hope you ever have." He looked at him then, giving him the smallest of smiles. "I'm grateful you're alive, Kiddo. I have absolutely no idea how long I would have lasted without you, but I know it wouldn't have been very long."

Smiling slightly as well, Harry felt a sense of hope flush through him, a hope that eventually, everything would be alright again. It would never be the same, but he would be happy again someday. However, as he suspected it would be, this small feeling of hope was short lived. "That still doesn't answer my question, Sirius. Why am I still here? You're here for me, but who am I here for?"

"Me." Sirius whispered, pulling the covers up over his godson carefully. "You're here for me, to keep me on my feet and sane. Without you, I wouldn't be alive. Now try and sleep." He chuckled very lightly then, trying to cheer the boy up slightly, at the very least. "And remember, Harry. This is your story. And the hero isn't meant to die in the end."


End file.
